Candice didn’t mind rowing with Judy. It was her use of thermonuclear weapons that she didn’t like. “Why is it that every petty little argument we have ends up with ten to fifteen million innocent people being vaporized?” Candice would ask. Calmed from her storm and...
Lucy only went with thin men: the thinner the better. She liked her guys to look like lab skeletons in flesh-coloured body suits. For her, there was nothing better than the sight and feel of elbows, ribs, tibulas, fibulas, sternums and vertebrae jutting through skin....
A short story by Karl Minns: Fed up with being set up on a succession of blind dates that went nowhere, Hal decided to change tack. “Mute dates?” asked his flat-mate. “No conversation”, explained Hal, “we communicate just with our souls”. The first date was with...
Gareth’s alarm went off at 8:30 am at a shattering volume but Gareth didn’t hear it. He’d already been up 42 minutes and while the spring-loaded clapper buzzed frantically between the bells at the top of his Mickey Mouse clock, he was singing to himself in the shower...
“Is it safe?” “Is what safe?” “Is it safe?” “What? No. Yes. It’s safe, very safe. It’s so safe, you wouldn’t believe it” “Is it safe?” A pause. I struggled in the chair, the leather binds strained against my wrists and ankles, my...
The doctor held my scrotum in his hand and looked away distractedly as if he’d rather be anywhere else, doing anything else. “Now cough” “Ah-eheh-hhegm!” “Again” “Ah-eheh-ggrrhegm!” “Hmm” “All OK?” I began pulling my pants up. “Leave your underwear off, please!” The...