The doctor held my scrotum in his hand and looked away distractedly as if he’d rather be anywhere else, doing anything else.
“Now cough”
“Ah-eheh-hhegm!”
“Again”
“Ah-eheh-ggrrhegm!”
“Hmm”
“All OK?” I began pulling my pants up.
“Leave your underwear off, please!”
The doctor’s stentorian tone halted me in my tracks. I stood up again, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
The doctor reached for a pair of rubber gloves and suctioned them on to his fingers, “Turn around and bend over”.
I leant over the examination table, awaiting the inevitable.
“Does that hurt?”
I winced, barely able to breathe.
“It’s uncomfortable, certainly”
“What about now?”
The digit entered deeper, I rose off the table and let out a whimper.
“Yes, a tad…ooh”
“No allergies”
“No”
“You don’t smoke?”
“Uh-uh”
“Very good. Drink?”
“Moderately. I’ve cut down a lot. Ow!!”
“Sorry”
The doctor whipped his finger out.
“You exercise, I believe”
“Couple of times a week at least”
“No history of heart disease, cancer in the family?”
“No”
“Have you ever suffered from impotence or premature ejaculation?”
“Um…not really…no”
“Glad to hear. Underpants up”
I gingerly reached down to my pants and jeans. My backside throbbed.
“Mouth open when you’re ready”
“Ahhhhh”. I let my jaw fall open.
“Wider…a little wider…good”
The doctor placed a wooden spatula on my tongue.
“No strong gag reflex?”
“Uh-huh”. I managed a little shake of the head.
“Splendid. All done. Take a seat”
I sat down slowly, exhaling as my anus protested at the movement. I watched the doctor scribble notes on a pad. “Well…?”
“You’ve passed”
“Really?”
The doctor nodded and smiled. “I want to apologize, but I am very picky when it comes to boyfriends. Are you free Friday night? I was thinking a meal, few drinks, yes?
I nodded. “Sounds lovely”
I’m about to leave the house as I write this. I’m really excited. It’s weird, but I feel like he already knows me.
