The doctor held my scrotum in his hand and looked away distractedly as if he’d rather be anywhere else, doing anything else.

“Now cough”





“All OK?” I began pulling my pants up.

“Leave your underwear off, please!”

The doctor’s stentorian tone halted me in my tracks. I stood up again, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

The doctor reached for a pair of rubber gloves and suctioned them on to his fingers, “Turn around and bend over”.

I leant over the examination table, awaiting the inevitable.

“Does that hurt?”

I winced, barely able to breathe.

“It’s uncomfortable, certainly”

“What about now?”

The digit entered deeper, I rose off the table and let out a whimper.

“Yes, a tad…ooh”

“No allergies”


“You don’t smoke?”


“Very good. Drink?”

“Moderately. I’ve cut down a lot. Ow!!”


The doctor whipped his finger out.

“You exercise, I believe”

“Couple of times a week at least”

“No history of heart disease, cancer in the family?”


“Have you ever suffered from impotence or premature ejaculation?”

“Um…not really…no”

“Glad to hear. Underpants up”

I gingerly reached down to my pants and jeans. My backside throbbed.

“Mouth open when you’re ready”

“Ahhhhh”. I let my jaw fall open.

“Wider…a little wider…good”

The doctor placed a wooden spatula on my tongue.

“No strong gag reflex?”

“Uh-huh”. I managed a little shake of the head.

“Splendid. All done. Take a seat”

I sat down slowly, exhaling as my anus protested at the movement. I watched the doctor scribble notes on a pad. “Well…?”

“You’ve passed”


The doctor nodded and smiled. “I want to apologize, but I am very picky when it comes to boyfriends. Are you free Friday night? I was thinking a meal, few drinks, yes?

I nodded. “Sounds lovely”

I’m about to leave the house as I write this. I’m really excited. It’s weird, but I feel like he already knows me.