Susannah had an unusual body. Her nipples, if fiddled correctly, could pick up radio signals. Her left nipple was the volume. The right did the tuning.  Her vagina acted as a speaker. To avoid embarrassment, she told her lovers never to twist her nipples.

All was well until she met Graham. Lost in pleasure as he kissed down her body, Susannah felt his hands cup her breasts. A second later he grabbed both nipples between his fingers and twisted them playfull and the Shipping Forecast began booming from between Susannah’s legs.

She leapt up, closing her legs and pushed Graham’s face away from her. “Jesus! Sorry. I’m so sorry!”

Gathering the duvet around her, she felt her face flush with shame. She looked up, only to find Graham smiling at her, sweetly.

“Turn it back on”.

Susannah frowned. “Are you sure?”

He nodded, encouraging her. Susannah grinned sheepishly and gently twisted her nipple. The sound of a muffled male voice came from under the duvet. Graham pulled the covers off and gently parted Susannah’s legs. The voice became louder.

“Dogger, Fisher, German Bight. North-North Easterly, Storm Force Ten, three miles, 1010, falling more slowly”.

Graham looked at Susannah and shook his head. “God, I’d hate to be on a trawler tonight”.

His face disappeared from view. Susannah closed her eyes and inhaled sharply as the radio became muffled again.

“North Utsira, South Utsira, mmmghgfff…millibars…mmeoough”

Susannah smiled and bit her lip. A great lover and he cared about the welfare of fishermen.

This one was a keeper….